Facebook Observations

These days facebook and twitter seem to be all the rage. When I mean rage I mean rage like Alec Baldwin going off (not getting off) on his daughter. Every Tom Dick, Harriet and Mr-Ass has a facebook account today. Even companies, talk shows, beggars on the street, pet gerbils, half dead grannies and fully dead grannies for that matter, are on facebook. So what has precipitated this massive religious-like fervent interest in facebook that is the envy of scientology and the late David Koresh?

The old definition of a social networking site was a place where a geek would go to seek like minded geeks. But only after his/her eyes started to water continuously after playing WarCraft for three straight days, his/her supply of redbull or tissue paper ran out and his/her right hand/finger got tired or maybe the batteries in 'that' device ran out.

However, now these sites are keenly visited by so called 'normal' people. In fact hot -potential cheerleader- chicks with really really really nice boobs are now being real geeks by spending days in front of their dainty little apples because of facebook.

People have hundreds of friends they would never be caught dead with in real life and know the most intimate details of when these people are going to the crapper, what they are having for lunch, what's currently making them sad, happy, horny or constipated. Most people constantly keep refreshing the browser for hours on end in the faint hope that something will change, like one of their so called friends suddenly getting the runs or someone posting a video of a rabbit humping a chicken.

Many people claim that facebook replaces face to face meetings with people? I don't think so. Not unless your PC can put her hand down your pants and grab your privates- we will always need a real person to do that. How much fun really can sex be in worlds like Second Life? Not a lot of fun, especially if that hot bikini-clad chick avatar is in real life a pot bellied homophobic construction worker and you can't really manipulate the mouse and your joystick at the same time. I doubt that people are using facebook to actually replace face to face contact. Nope, they are replacing work with facebook in the office. Let's face it. Any guy would have real sex with a fat chick that has been sparingly beaten with an ugly stick rather than have a wank to a virtual Lara Croft.

But we love facebook because by dint of being freinds of freinds of friends we get to see lots of hot chicks and hunky guys in various states of undress and insobriety. AND you can join thousands of meaningless groups such as "We dophins are intelligent too" and waste your time playing zillions of trivia games with inane questions such as what colour tampon does Tom Cruise wear?(What colour is Katie Holmes again?).

Is the Economic Crisis bigger than the Universe?

Everyone know the economic crisis visited upon us by those greedy wanker bankers is huge. But, really, how big is it in relation to the scale of the universe? We all know that the universe has extremely small values as well as extremely large values. But one thing in common is that these values are extreme - lots of zeroes. Think Pearl Harbour, then multiply those zeroes by a gazillion. Hang on anything into zero is still zero, but you get my drift.

Government's casually talk in the trillions of dollars for bail-out packages. Just how much is tens of trillions of dollars in the grand scheme of the universe?

Exteme Values	Scale
The age of our universe - approx 15 billion years old	10,000,000,000
Number of stars in our galaxy (Milky Way)	100,000,000,000
The length of a light year	1,000,000,000,000
Bail out package- talking trillions of dollars	10,000,000,000,000
Total number of living cells in a human body	100,000,000,000,000
The radius of an electron	1/1,000,000,000,000,000
Number of stars in our universe	1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Plancks constant, probably the samllest number in quantum mechanics	1/1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Not bad eh? We should first take off our hats to those wanker bankers before we take a couple of baseball bats to them.

Why Electric Cars Suck

Now that those wanker bankers, joker brokers and tosser bosses have finally managed to put the global economy to rest by lethal injection - is there possibly be more disaster in store? Yes there is! Those greedy leeches have expedited the demise of the internal combustion engine - the heart and soul of every rice boy, girl and animal out there. The Big US car giants are now swearing to stop building giant green house gas emitting V8s and build electric cars instead. Honda has axed most of it's sports car programs in order to focus on its hybrid Insight. Most manufacturers are pulling out of various racing championships stating financial distress.

The tree huggers, whale lovers, vegans and feminists must be rejoicing. The move away from the internal combustion engine to electric engines and hybrid alternatives will surely save the planet. However it spells disaster to everyone else who has ever owned and loved a car.

From ancient times man has been obsessed with fire. Ever since Prometheus gave man fire, man has found lots of interesting things to do with it. From roasting dead animals, to fire-bugging forests. From cooking chinese using napalm to cooking japanese using the A-bomb. From firing rockets into space to firing guns at each other - fire has always been a fascinating aspect of our lives. Fire, is also what powers the internal combustion engine. Think of what makes cars fascinating? High revving engines that reach 10,000 rpm. The whistle as super hot exhaust gases spin up the twin sequential turbos. Whooshes from blow-off valves. Loud exhausts that send war veterans running for cover. Fire from tail pipes as anti-lag dumps fuel into the headers. Backfire like machine guns. Bumpers split asunder to accommodate inter-coolers that wouldn't look out of place on a freight train. Burning rubber as angry V8s dump too much torque on poor Korean built tires. These are all the trappings of an engine powered by fire. Take these away and you might as well be prancing around in a skirt, eating only vegetarian food and trying to express your feelings. So what do you get with an engine powered by an electric motor? Nothing except a slight whine and maybe a small purr as the little quarter litre petrol engine fires up to recharge the batteries.

Imagine formula1 with hybrids? I can't and I would rather formula1 racing die that watch f1 cars crawling around a track in silence at 70 kmph and braking in the middle of the straight to increase the efficiency of regenerative braking. Cars powered by an electric plug are like kitchen appliances with seats on wheels. Who would want to watch a bunch of microwaves, fridges or washing machines going around a track?

It all comes down to mans' (and hot womens') obsession with fire. Even the human body is one big internal combustion engine that converts Oxygen to C02. We love to burn stuff, that's what we do. And that is why locomotion without fire is like having sex with a hole in the tree. It gets the job done, but there is absolutely no fun in it whatsoever.

The only scenario in which a normal man might possibly drive a hybrid over a V8 is if Angelina Jolie and promised to have sex with you if you drove a hybrid. Then again I'd probably tell Angelina to kiss my V8 tailpipe. Monica Bellucci on the other hand will probably only have sex with you if you drove a V8. (Most of this is conjecture based on an average assumption of the male preferences because I'm a woman).