Handjob Highlight of Big Brother

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Important Facts On Sex With a Midget

With all the excitement around the 1m tall midget Rima Hadchiti in the Big Brother house, her subsequent departure after breaking a leg and the scandalous photos of her on the internet, we thought we'd discuss some midgetology. Rima has a normal sized (non-midget) husband. So what would the sexual mechanics be like? Here are a couple of facts that you should be aware of if you want to poke Rima or any of her kind.

• She can give you bj while both of you are standing up.
• In the 69 Position you're licking her, she's sucking your tummy.
• The sexiest lingerie you can buy for her are a pair of briefs with mickey mouse pictures and a bra with a pink bow.
• If she can grab your member with one hand, then you have a toothpick between your balls.
• You may have the smallest Johnson in the world, but she makes you feel hung like a donkey.
• In the world of fantasy sex games you can...
• Paint her green, stick a pair of Mickey mouse ears on her and pretend you are having sex with Yoda, or Yaddle depending on your fancy.
• Get her to go on all fours, drape a shag-pile carpet over her and pretend to have bestiality sex with your neighbor's dog.
  
• Fit her in an elmo/oscar/cookie monster suit and you can finally 'get nasty' with one of your childhood friends.
• Pretend you're a he-snow-white do a she-dwarf.
• Dress her up as a school girl and pretend to screw your son's girlfriend.
  
• If both of you are in a jacuzzi, and she's been underwater for over 2 minutes, she's not trying to give you a BJ, she's drowning!
• The only chance you get to post pics of your sexual antics under the 'freak show' category on 'those' websites.

Britney Spears - Limerick Profile

There was once a cute girl called spears,
Whose voice was like music to our ears,
But her most exciting stunt;
Was the flash of her cunt,
Which will outlast all her songs for years.

Britney shaved off her beautiful head,
Which she did when she dumped Kfed,
But this was not enough;
So she shaved her muff,
To stop the itching in her now empty bed.

Her virginity was vouched by many an insider,
But all the while dirty Timberlake was inside her,
Had accidents in cars;
But more so in bars,
And Paris Hilton is rumored to have muff dived her.

If we write off her wild partying as a sin,
And we dump that quack Phil's comments in the bin,
As a mum she's not half bad;
Tho at times a little mad,
But a million times better than slutty Jamie Lynn.

Back to sing-along celebs for more limericks