Thursday, April 17, 2008

Nissan GT-R. Will Godzilla Dominate The Tokyo Skyline?

470+hp and 580+Nm, 100kmph dash in 3.5 seconds.To give you an example as to how fast this is. If the GT-R were to race Justin Gaitlin -currently the fastest man on earth- by the time Gaitlin crosses the 100m finish line the GT-R has raced home and had sex with Gaitlin's wife, polished it's rims, had sex with Gaitlin's wife again and crossed the finish line 5 seconds ahead of Gaitlin. This Puppy has Nitrogen filled tires and more processing power than 10 PS3s put together. All though this car is not touted as the successor to the legendary skyline GT-R, we all know it implicitly is. So the question is how does it match up? On a track the stock GT-R will probably whip a stock skyline R34, but we're not interested int that crap. After all we don't buy cars to race around on a track. We buy a car that we think will satisfy some primal urge. The big minus is of course the fact that Nissan kept using a Porsche 911 to benchmark the GT-R. Did Leonardo Da Vinci need to benchmark his Mona-Lisa? Did Michaelangelo need to benchmark his David? What if they did? The Mona Lisa might have turned out to be actually pretty and David would have turned out to be quite well hung. My point is art doesn't need a reference.

There is no bigger legend than the R34, Except maybe Honda's B16A. It comes in R-Tune, Z-tune, M-spec-Nur and a host of other riceboy tunes and specs. It's got 4 wheel steering, AWD, twin turbos, transmission cooler, inter-cooler, water-cooler. it basically ticks all the boxes on every riceboys' wish list. The only thing it lacks is a back seat, but then again, it's not like a riceboy is ever going to get lucky with a girl. It's appeared in Jeremy Clarkson's Top Gear many times. It's appeared in 2F&2F. I mean how cool is that? The new GT-R on the other hand looks like a cross between the Big-Z(350Z) and the Mitsu Lancer. It's as distinctive as George W. Bush's IQ in a army of mentally challenged chimpanzees. It has no passion. No Flair. This is not a loud, crazy and brash riceboy's dream car. This is some high-powered executive's toy which he could use to try and pick up MILFs and impress hot school chicks.

Nothing in the world was close to the R34, except maybe sex with Kelly Hu. It could not be compared to anything, except maybe Kelly Hu, nude, lying on a bed. The New GT-R on the other hand fit's in well with the M3, SL55 AMG, RS6 and a host of other such Nazi machinery.

All About Cars, Riceboys And Ricegirls

No comments: