Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Fast Food Information ala Google

Everyone except fat people, know that fast food is bad for you. It turns a healthy body into a tub of lard faster than an obese kid putting away a jam donut. Fast food is food that is quick and temporarily satisfying but not that healthy. Like having a quickie with that hot secretary in the storage cupboard at work. It's quick, satisfying - at least for you, and if you get caught, definitely unhealthy. Where as, proper food is nutritious satisfying and healthy. Like having sex with your wife, if she's giving you some head, it's definitely nutritious for her, and it is more satisfying because you have to spend 1 hour convincing her she doesn't have a headache and another hour convincing your dick that your wife looks like that hot secretary at work. But we digress. The point is searching for information on google is like the fast food of information.

Information is distilled to the point that decades of information is summed up in one sentence and it's almost always out of context. You don't have to work for this information, because that bastard googlebot has done it's robo thing-a-ma-jiggy and everything is ready for you. Yes, the googlebot chews up all the sites on the internet, shits out all the good and useful ones, and burps back out all the filth for us to consume. As a matter of fact you can search through hundreds of rubbish sites that google spews out, get 100s of pieces of information, finished your assignment but at the end of the day you would have learned absolutely nothing. It's called fast food information and it's all thanks to google. Gone are the days when you had to read books and magazines, watch TV and listen to the radio to get information AND at times sexy pictures of sexy women.

For example, let us assume we had to write an essay on ninjas. Our two options are books/TV/radio and Google. If you try Google, you get the usual, sexy ninjas, undress a ninja, ninja dating and American ninja. You might learn a little bit about ninja stuff and Japan, but that would be like having a peek at Jennifer Aniston's clavicle. Through the other media such as books and possibly TV, you will learn about the ancient art of ninjutsu, about Hamato Yoshi and Oroku Saki, that ninjas and Samurais were mortal enemies like Oprah Winfrey and bathroom scales or Paris Hilton and brains. Unlike peeking at Jen's clavicle, this is like running your hands all over her hot, sexy, nude and oiled up body.

So the next time an assignment turns up, instead of googling for similar one you can plagiarize or checking out wikipedia for garbage or going on for help, Read a book you moron!
Remember the quality of information is important. Don't feed your brain junk food.


Anonymous said...

Ok... ^_^ Some constructive criticism, though I feel rather anxious directing it at a blogger named "Crazy Bitch":
1. Did every paragraph have to end in a reference to sex?
2. The arguement didn't really have a conclusion.. I am still unsure as to what the point is.
3. (Building on 2.) You need to make your points clearer.

You have a good, interesting character but you need to improove your writing :)

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna edit 2. "Your conclusion wasn't relevant to your introduction or body."

Anonymous said...

Wayyy too much sexual references! Borderline pervert!

Anonymous said...

At the above 3 commenters: You are all the type of idiots which this article refers to.