Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Important Facts On Sex With a Midget

With all the excitement around the 1m tall midget Rima Hadchiti in the Big Brother house, her subsequent departure after breaking a leg and the scandalous photos of her on the internet, we thought we'd discuss some midgetology. Rima has a normal sized (non-midget) husband. So what would the sexual mechanics be like? Here are a couple of facts that you should be aware of if you want to poke Rima or any of her kind.
  • She can give you bj while both of you are standing up.
  • In the 69 Position you're licking her, she's sucking your tummy.
  • The sexiest lingerie you can buy for her are a pair of briefs with mickey mouse pictures and a bra with a pink bow.
  • If she can grab your member with one hand, then you have a toothpick between your balls.
  • You may have the smallest Johnson in the world, but she makes you feel hung like a donkey.
  • In the world of fantasy sex games you can...
    • Paint her green, stick a pair of Mickey mouse ears on her and pretend you are having sex with Yoda, or Yaddle depending on your fancy.
    • Get her to go on all fours, drape a shag-pile carpet over her and pretend to have bestiality sex with your neighbor's dog.
    • Fit her in an elmo/oscar/cookie monster suit and you can finally 'get nasty' with one of your childhood friends.
    • Pretend you're a he-snow-white do a she-dwarf.
    • Dress her up as a school girl and pretend to screw your son's girlfriend.
  • If both of you are in a jacuzzi, and she's been underwater for over 2 minutes, she's not trying to give you a BJ, she's drowning!
  • The only chance you get to post pics of your sexual antics under the 'freak show' category on 'those' websites.

1 comment:

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