FINA Swimsuit Controversy - The Sexy Solution

Controversy now dogs the FINA championships in Rome. It's nothing to do with drugs or chinese men dressed as female swimmers, it's to do with swimsuits. Swimsuits I hear you say. Maybe the suits are too revealing? Maybe too sexy? Unfortunately it's  nothing of the sort. It appears that the suits are allowing the swimmers to swim faster. The records keep tumbling and super fish Michael Phelps has cried foul! These super suits mimic shark skin or seal skin or whatever, give additional buoyancy and trap air bubles to reduce friction. Looks like the only thing these suits don't do is transform into optimus prime. So the jury is out and FINA is going to clarify some rules around swimsuits. This would be extrememly complicated as the suits are made by different vendors and are diverse in their technologies.

We have a simple solution. Frankly the less swimsuit the better. We'd suggest the swimmers to without any swimsuit, but that might not be to everyone's tastes. The simplest solution would be to require all the swimmers to wear one swimsuit - like how all Formula 1 cars now have Bridgestone tires only. But this will make an already boring sport more boring. We need to bring the sexy back into swimming. We need low-cut (top) and high cut (bottom) swimsuits. We need to bring back the two piece bikini and maybe even  a tankini, or dare we say it - a thong-kini! As a matter fact we suggest that FINA mandate the material with which you can manufacture a swimsuit. This would be a super high-drag material so the most efficient swimsuit would be the smallest one! Thus the most efficient would be a completely topless swimsuit with maybe a optional thong! Hows that for bringing sexy back to swimming!