Friday, March 28, 2008

Cory Worthington - Party Liaison


Is this dumb maggot (aged 16) australia's best export? Ever since he trashed his parents' house by throwing a party for 500 people in January this year, he's shot to notoriety. A UK wannabe try-hard by the name of Sarah Ruscoe threw a party for 2000 guests at her father's 21 room mansion a couple of weeks back for her 18th birthday. But let's face it, it's a piss poor attempt at imitating Cory. Sarah's father is rich and he's got a 21 room mansion. That's almost royalty, and royalty can be excused, because they are essentially inbred idiots, Prince Charles - case in point. Cory on the other hand is basically Australian middle-class white trash. The cops that came to break up Cory's bash threatened to slap his parents with a $20,000 fine. They were obviously very angry because the beer and weed were all finished by the time they turned up.

Anyway looks like Cory has shored up a deal with UK mobile giant 02 to do some publicity. This is the fruit of his and his parents' hard labour. Of course his parents were in on it. They feigned shock and outrage (so they wouldn't have to pay the angry police) and quickly went running to one of Australia's trashiest current affairs shows "A Current Affair" to give their son some exposure. The parents' are smart, because let's face it, they know that their loser son is not going to amount to anything more than a mentally retarded gas station attendant jelly fish. Does this moron represent Australian youth in general? To a certain extent he does. The minor discrepancy is that he doesn't do drugs. Especially ice, which is becoming more popular than sex with the youth, because you have to pay less for ice.

Cory Worthington is now synonymous with Australia, eclipsing Tom Cruise escapee Nicole Kidman and those furry creatures that never bath- the Koala's. He's probably doing more for Australian tourism than that bimbo model Lara Bingle or that precocious crocodile torturer Bindi Irwin. At least now when you mention Australia people will scream Cory Worthington, rather than give you a blank stare and drool from the side of their mouths. But the most important question is will this get him some action, and by action I mean sex? I'm sure there are heaps of young, pretty and ugly virgins who would love to give it up to Cory Worthington - party liaison. Yes, he has it made.

Cory enters Australian Big Brother House

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You can't seriously generalise a whole generation down to this one dick-head. Its the minority ruining the reputation of the majority.