Big Brother, Blond Bombshells, Bimbos and Boredom

Looks like the big brother steam-roller is hammering downhill towards that quagmire called oblivion. Channel 10 is throwing everything except the kitchen sink at this show. Expect the kitchen sink, soiled underwear and used sex toys to follow really soon, because nothing seems to be working. From day one the show has been a disaster. The first mistake was to replace Gretel Kileen by an an angry old fart whose personality is, well angry, and a bimbo who would be excellent topless, but nothing much else. They are so utterly boring it makes a Sunday mass look like a cheap but entertaining Jean-Claude Van Damme action movie. Then there's the contestants. The only thing interesting about them is that there is one promiscuous mini whore (Rima), a homosexual child whose testicles refuse to drop (Travis) and an old gramdma who's slightly less entertaining than a demented octogenarian lying on a couch with his tongue hanging out.

Big brother appears really artificial now. It is generally and artificial show, but more so this year. With ad hoc hand grenades and big brother choosing to reverse some of the grenades. For example Nobbi sending terry to the combi and then BB giving Terrence the power to reverse it.
Channel 10 has put in party rat Cory Worhtington, unknown fashion faggot Carson Kressley, and now Pamela Anderson in a bid to try and inject some glucose into catatonic ratings. Pamela Anderson has the boobs to save many a show, but we're talking about the Titanic here.

What is the difference between a cheap porn show and Big Brother?
A cheap porn show has talentless and personality-less people and a lot of sex and nudity. BB has no sex and nudity.

I hope Channel 10 has BB09 next year. I love to see them suffer!

More BB08 news

Handjob Highlight of Big Brother

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What is the KRud (Kevin Rudd) doing for Aussie Battlers?

'Not Happy John!' Summed up what the Australian public felt as they voted Kevin in 07. It's been almost half a year now since Kevin became the 26th prime minister of Australia and appointed Australia's second most sexiest woman Julia Gillard as second in command. So the question remains, what has K-Rudd done for the Aussie battler? The good news is he hasn't done jack. Apart from having a 2020 summit hosted by Kate Blanchet, where supposedly smart people got the chance to add their 2-cents on issues the common man could care less about. No one gives a hairy monkey's balls about climate change, aborigines sniffing petrol and/or arts and culture, when the cost of living is shooting off like a cheap Chinese sky-rocket.

Thanks to rampant monopolies, grocery prices are so uncontrollably high that despite buying only home brand you still have to decide which two meals out of the recommended three a day you want to eat. Service stations running amok and raping the public in broad daylight. The housing and rental crisis reaching breaking point, with people having to choose between eating and living in a rat-infested sewer of a house, or paying a mortgage and surviving on dog-food. Banks increasing interest rates carte blanche. This is the horrific situation 80% of the Australians face today.

What has K-Rudd done to address these pressing issues? He's started heaps of commissions. From petrol and grocery commissions to "how many times a day do you fart" commissions. Basically he's done jack all, and jack has just taken the Greyhound to live in the outback with the Kangas, where it's a little cheaper. We need someone who'll take some action. Not go chasing japan about bloody whaling. Japan could kill and eat all the god-damn whales on the earth, build spaceships, go to some other galaxy, find a planet like earth, hunt kill and eat all the whales there, and I wouldn't give a Britney's shaved crotch. I'm struggling to pump petrol in my car, put food on my table and send my kids to child-care. "Hey Kev! Screw the whales pal, your people need you."

Tough times need tough old coots. Not mandarin speaking nancy boys, who talk nice and appear to try to please everyone, all the while reaming you anally with his small dick. To think that I voted for Kevin Rudd! I never thought I'd say this but 'Bring back the John!'

Big Brother 2008 Australia, Housemate Roundup

Distributing Australia's Big Brother trash around the world!!!!

Channel 10 has hit rock bottom. No, lower that rock bottom. Channel 10 has hit the earth's inner core. BB08 looks like something pond scum wouldn't even touch. Here is a roundup of the lesser boring characters. Trust me, the rest are as smart as half a sea urchin and about as entertaining as a fully clothed Pamela Anderson with words instead of a dick in her mouth. Anyway it's time The rest of the world woke up to Big Brother Australia!

Rima: You can tell that BB is really scraping the bottom of the Barrel on this one. A midget that has done porno. Yuck. I would have loved to see any of the other girls in the BB house except Dixie in the nude, or better still having sex. But a midget? Crikey, she should have a paper bag taped over her head and stored in my grandma's closet. What is interesting is how she has sex with her full sized husband? Maybe he has a small dick,or maybe he is a dwarf fetishist, or probably both. She's every child molesters dream, to be able to molest a child like thing and not have the cops kicking down your door. Interesting facts on sex with a midget/dwarf.

Terri: A 52 year old Nazi Nana that thinks foreigners are the scourge of Australian Society. I wonder what the aborigines think of that, considering they were in Australia first. I bet if you go to her gulag and turn over all those little cutesy collectible figurines, you'll see 'made in china' under all of them. She's a tough old bigoted bitch who has a picture of Hitler under in her torture chamber basement where her husband can be regularly heard begging for mercy. If you ever wondered what it would be like to have sex with a female and Christian version of Saddam Hussein, good luck getting her into bed with you. Good bye if you did manage!

Dixie: A self confessed nymphomaniac hoochie mama with the ass a size of a good sized family car. The only thing that's stopping this sex maniac form having sex with a new guy everyday is the fact that she's pretty ugly. She's a BB first on three accounts. She's the first fat woman on BB and the first non-white woman on BB and definitely the one we want to see the least naked. She could wear house mate Travis as a thong and use house mate Renee as an angry tampon.

Travis: A squeaky voiced stick insect of a retard. His high pitched voice sounds like a he's had his balls bitten off by a dingo. Except that he didn't have balls to start off with. He's always hanging out with the girls and claims he isn't a homosexual. Pity, because except for a blind indiscriminate man i can't see anyone, let alone a healthy woman sleeping with this man-bimbo. I wish all the girls would get together and gang-rape the little bastard.

The Rest: Assorted good looking women and good looking blokes. Good thong/G-string and turkey slapping material.

More Big Brother

IRAQ: US Soldiers Shoot Insurgents. Australian Soldier Shoots Himself

Ever since George W. Bush opened another can of Vietnam by invading Iraq, things have not looked good. 4000 US soldiers have thus far given their lives to this questionable cause with unquestioning bravery. These soldiers died killing insurgents! But, please spare a thought for Australian private Jacob Kovco (28) who died killing himself in April 2006. A Sydney inquiry has just recently comprehensively proved that private Jacob Kovco was arsing around and shot himself in the head. However, the Jury stated that solace could be gained by the fact that the shot was executed professionally. This inquiry almost 2 years after his death has justifiably angered his family. The inquiry also found out that while Kovco was busy shooting himself in his room, a fellow soldier was allegedly surfing for porn and another listening to music in the same room.

Private Kovco has outdone his US brethren. The US GIs kill insurgents. Sure, the insurgents are fanatical, but they are poorly trained, hungry, diseased and lack equipment. Private Kovco, on the other hand has shot a highly trained, professional, healthy soldier - himself. Kudos!

The moral of the story is that war really sucks, you'll get a jack-ass in every invasion, and he will most probably-rather than not-be from Australia. If you are going to send soldiers into a war zone. Send them to fight, not just hang around doing recon and protecting consulate staff.

Cory Worthington - Party Liaison

Is this dumb maggot (aged 16) australia's best export? Ever since he trashed his parents' house by throwing a party for 500 people in January this year, he's shot to notoriety. A UK wannabe try-hard by the name of Sarah Ruscoe threw a party for 2000 guests at her father's 21 room mansion a couple of weeks back for her 18th birthday. But let's face it, it's a piss poor attempt at imitating Cory. Sarah's father is rich and he's got a 21 room mansion. That's almost royalty, and royalty can be excused, because they are essentially inbred idiots, Prince Charles - case in point. Cory on the other hand is basically Australian middle-class white trash. The cops that came to break up Cory's bash threatened to slap his parents with a $20,000 fine. They were obviously very angry because the beer and weed were all finished by the time they turned up.

Anyway looks like Cory has shored up a deal with UK mobile giant 02 to do some publicity. This is the fruit of his and his parents' hard labour. Of course his parents were in on it. They feigned shock and outrage (so they wouldn't have to pay the angry police) and quickly went running to one of Australia's trashiest current affairs shows "A Current Affair" to give their son some exposure. The parents' are smart, because let's face it, they know that their loser son is not going to amount to anything more than a mentally retarded gas station attendant jelly fish. Does this moron represent Australian youth in general? To a certain extent he does. The minor discrepancy is that he doesn't do drugs. Especially ice, which is becoming more popular than sex with the youth, because you have to pay less for ice.

Cory Worthington is now synonymous with Australia, eclipsing Tom Cruise escapee Nicole Kidman and those furry creatures that never bath- the Koala's. He's probably doing more for Australian tourism than that bimbo model Lara Bingle or that precocious crocodile torturer Bindi Irwin. At least now when you mention Australia people will scream Cory Worthington, rather than give you a blank stare and drool from the side of their mouths. But the most important question is will this get him some action, and by action I mean sex? I'm sure there are heaps of young, pretty and ugly virgins who would love to give it up to Cory Worthington - party liaison. Yes, he has it made.

Cory enters Australian Big Brother House