Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Heather Mills Jokes

Mills and McCartney matching T-shirts.

Why is Sir Paul McCartney a bigger idiot than disgraced US attorney Eliot Spitzer?
Because Spitzer spent $1000 an hour on a call girl for two hours, and Sir Paul McCartney spent $1500 a day on a 3rd rate hooker for 4 years!

What is the difference between Linda McCartney and Heather Mills?
We wish Linda wasn't dead.

Is it fair that Heather Mills asked for a $60,000 equestrian allowance, even though she doesn't ride?
Fair, because horses don't ride, they are ridden.

Which part of Heather Mills isn't a conniving money grubbing bitch?
Her prosthetic leg.

Rambo and Heather Mills are locked up in separate animal infested Jails with no food. Who survives longer?
Rambo takes out his hunting knife, kills the rats and eats them - he survives for 1 month before the rats run out. Heather Mills has no problem drinking rats' milk, so she can survive indefinitely. But she doesn't need to, because un-dead vampires are hard to kill and apparentl y harder to shut up.

Knock, Knock, who's there?
The hooker we-hate-her the litigious faker (sung according to "the butcher the baker the candlestick maker")
Ah, please come in Mrs Mills.

"I know a person with a wooden leg named Heather."
"Is other leg name crazy bitch?"

Back to Celebrity Central, for your daily fix.

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