Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Man Gets Pregnant. Very Fabric of the Universe is Threatened

Ever watched the movie 'Junior' starring the mayor of California and thought 'man that is really screwed.' Well, looks life imitating art. Or more accurately, A jackass called Thomas Beatie imitating a crap-ass movie.

His name is Thomas Beatie, aged 34, married to a woman called Nancy. He was recently seen on the Oprah Winfrey show talking about ethical issues. Forget ethical issues, the universe as we know it is under threat. Mr/Mrs/It Thomas started out as a woman, but has had plastic surgery and hormone therapy to become a man. No he didn't fuck himself. though that would have been the coolest thing ever. Imagine the headlines 'Man fucks himself and becomes pregnant.' Unfortunately, this is not so. Thomas had elected to keep his sexual organs (beaver) as they were, and was artificially inseminated. However, let us examine this amazingly complicated scenario that threatens to destroy the very fabric of our universe.

Originally Thomas was a woman who was in a relationship with Nancy. So let's assume Thomas was a lesbian and his/her partner Nancy was a lesbian. This assumes that Nancy is not some freak guy with a dick or two, or worse, an alien hermaphrodite, but a genuine woman - as God intended. Then, Thomas decided to become more masculine i.e. a man. Now his partner Nancy is a lesbian who is having a relationship with a guy, so she is theoretically a heterosexual lesbian. This makes Thomas a lesbian guy. Good Lord, poor God aka Yahweh must be turning in his grave. First the scourge of homosexuals and now this filth. What must a poor God do?

Now the universe is irrevocably shattered. What crazy thing are we to expect next? A homosexual US president? Winning the war in Iraq? George W. Bush beating a chicken in tic-tac-toe? Bill having sex with Hillary - and enjoying it? The universe as we know it is finished!


Pathofreason said...

Well a man really didn't get pregnant did he? It is a woman who thinks she is a man. A short haircut and hormone therapy doesn't make a person really a man. I would have thought the vagina would be a clear giveaway.

Anonymous said...

I think that this article is absurd! I can't believe you people actually think that this human being with feelings is doing something wrong. He wants to have a kid. THATS ALL. And what the hell is this shit about god being disappointed in you? You can't believe in this person wanting a family, but you believe that there is a man in the sky watching over you? WHAT THE FUCK? You people are on PCP or something cause there is no person thats hiding in the sky. Its false, so don't waste your time and don't waste your Sunday Mornings, THATS ALL!