Movie Reviews by the People's Critic

Ever wanted to know what to do on the day Mrs Palm and her five daughters decided to take a break? Wanted to know what movie to take your imaginary or possibly real date to, so you could literally impress the pants off her? Well wonder no more. Here are some movie reviews with in-depth and at times out-of-depth critiques ranging from acting and special effects to the sizes of cod-pieces. I don't go to the Cannes film festival, I hardly ever, I mean never get invited to red-carpet premiers and I never get to meet any celebs closeup because of my many injunctions. If you want to know what the people think of a movie and not what some high-brow asshat of a critic who insulted star wars, then this is the right place. Movie reviews that in most cases are more entertaining than the very movies themselves.

Super Hero Movie
Charlie Wilson's War
I am Legend
Superbad

I am Legend - Zombie knock off or truly legendary?

This is really an expensive zombie movie, without any real zombies in it, starring Will Smith. It starts out very promisingly with Dr Robert Neville (Will Smith) appearing to be the last man in the world. I mean how cool is that? At first he's doing what any normal guy would be doing - driving around in a fast car, toting a big gun, trying to shoot some animals, flipping through every porn magazine he can lay his hands on and a lot of Wanking. However, director Francis Lawrence seems to have left the latter two out.

For the first bit of the movie you are in awe. You get sucked into his lonely and intriguing world. Then the flashbacks start and you begin to think - oh f**k, these people are not dead, they could possibly be mutants. And then, it's bye bye 'I am Legend' and hello zombie movie. I don't mind a good zombie yarn, but it is so hard to digest CGI zombies that act like rabid animals ala Dick Cheney. Where is George Romero when you really need him. I was expecting Dr Neville to cure the female zombie he'd captured and turn her into a scantily clad kick-ass side kick to offer the teenage male viewers some respite. Sadly, this did not come to pass.

The Good- First 10 minutes is truly awesome. The scene where the zombies set the trap for Dr Neville is really haunting. His faithful dog is also a plus point.

The Bad- The zombies lay a beautiful trap for Dr Neville after learning by seeing him trap one of their own. This shows that the zombies are intelligent and that they posses cunning. So it's a pity this wasn't explored any further, and the zombies are portrayed as vicious, instinct driven animals. Why aren't they cannibalizing each other if they are so damn hungry? Does a zombie deer eat grass or other deer?

And the Ugly- CGI Zombies. They have no character and frankly, look really corny.

Alternative movies - Shawn of the Dead, Resident Evil, 28 Weeks.